resolving...

why the title "resolving"? guess it is a time to resolve some stuffs within and without.. hehee... sounds wrong...

wanted to update my blog quite a few times... things has been not going quite right... but i dun want to grumble... and i want to learn to face problems with God, not with the computer.. well... "trusting in God..." yup... though i have changed my nick today, but the trusting process will go on till the day i go back to Him in heaven..

i remember saying that i seldom update my blog unless i really cannot take it.. need a place to type how i feel.. "cannot take it" may mean that i am consume by thoughts or emotions or ideas... hehe... so the term may not be negative... at least not in my context...
well... one year pass by quickly... i remembered last year, i was still a sec 4 student... looking back at the past one year, God has been gracious... I learnt a lot, cried a lot, laugh a lot, fell a lot, doubt a lot... and He was with me all the time... to teach, to dry my tears, to laugh with me, to pick me up, to answer.. assuring me that all i need to do is listen, trust and obey... it definitely was not easy, many times i failed to do so.. but one thing i learnt... a man's failure does not determine God's failure... becoz He is who He is, He dun fail, He just makes everything beautiful in His time...

there was many changes in life... i made some real good friends in college... ppl who laugh with me, study with me, shared with me.. God blessed me with them.. and i want to be their blessings as well.. sometimes i dunno how, sometimes i fail... but well... it is only one year... i know we have many more years to go.. i promise to invite them to my wedding at the parade square.. i wun forget.. and even if i do, i have a back up plan! (opps.. inside joke) i was wondering am i really quirky? well... i just like to see ppl around me happy.. so wad if i look silly.. hehe...

resolving... yup... resolving some of my feelings... yes... once again, sihui is emotional... and i really love ppl around me... really really love them.. and it definitely include papaya, honeydew and my favourite heYdi! (opps... another inside joke..) but wad is inside joke? i actually do not really hide my feelings for ppl.. and i guess this is why some ppl gets confuse... well.. i love ppl around me... but ppl like papaya and honeydew and my favourite heYdi are special in my life.. see... i love all of us becoz of the qualities we have since we are created after God's own image.. tht's y i love oreo coz i think he is nice in his own ways.. (opps.. another one..) but i specially love the 2 fruits and heYdi becoz.. hehe... they are attractive to me wad!

resolving... ya lorh... need to resolve my feelings for those i kind of find it hard to love.. haiz... ppl who has been hurting me real badly..
resolving.. also for those who use to have a special place in my heart but i am feeling hurt recently becoz of them... sometimes it is just weird.. it is not like how i love papaya n gang... it is different... it is how you used to be able to share but now u can't... and the feeling you have when you are around them.. it just feels weird... it is not only tht one person... but ya.. there is this special one whom i am tired with recently.. trying to get him out of tht special place... it is actually my fault actually.. i din make the effort to know him better.. but... i am tired of feeling weird/hurt becoz of him.. well.. guess yup... i need to resolve this...

hee.. i got to know this iron man from my school better recently.. he is a christian as well.. and he is like so cool.. so postive.. so encouraging... and like.. haha.. sometimes so like me.. and he is 18... from china.. and.. kind of like him... hey! but at least he is of my age.. ppl has been saying i only like mature old man.. no lorh.. iron man is not old.. papaya is not tht old either... and.. i like them coz they are mature, sensitive and will make a loving father... hey.. but papaya is not sensitive! well... haha.. means i dun like him the way ppl think i do...

resolving... well... i guess it is a process tht will go on...

a pessimist sees a hole.. an optimist sees a donut...
i see God!