Meaningless

I am trying to learn.. Enjoying the presense of God alone.. Not being surrounded by people..
I dun feel like talking much anymore.. People who are quiet gets accepted into the society too.. People who are quiet serves God as well..
When you speak, you make assumptions.. You assume tht the person you are talking to understands what you mean.. Many times, or maybe all the time, the only have partial understanding.. Sometimes people dun show they dun understand.. In fact, they probably dunno that they have misunderstood..
I dun wanna be misunderstood.. I dun wanna be labeled as someone i am not.. I dun wanna talk anymore.. People associate you with their interpretations of what you say.. I am tired..
Thinking of what to say so that ppl wun get the wrong msg, thinking of how to say..
I feel like withdrawing from a lot of stuffs.. But there are responsibilities..Can i not be responsible? But if you are not responsible for once.. Ppl wun have confidence in you again.. Does it matter to me? So what if it doesn't matter to me now? How would i know if it not important to me next time? How would i know if there is a next time? And when they have no confidence in you, will what you say have creditbility? But.. no.. you are not going to say anything le... So does it matter?
All talk, all action.. All talk, no action.. No talk, all action.. No talk, no action..
What is the meaning of being yourself? Who is yourself? Is there only one yourself? I simply cannot fit in to the communities well.. So is there something wrong with myself? Or am i not being myself? Then do you seek to fit in to the communities well or do you seek to be yourself? Or is there many side to yourself, you just have to find the right side to face the different communities? So does it mean there is more than one yourself? Is this what you call identity crisis? But what is an identity? Are you suppose to have diff kind of identities as you appear in diff places?
Seeking identity in Christ.. I only have God now.. The One who will not misunderstands me, even if i dun understands myself.. The One who wun misinterpret me.. Coz i dun communicate with Him using words.. He sees the heart.. The only One.. Can i go back to Him?
Today.. the crow flew pass me 4 times.. It flew over my shoulders.. I ask God if He had something to tell me.. I din get my answer..

0601 outing

Today went for the 0601 outing.. Really love them so much.. You feel so comfortable, and real relax..
Ok, i admit i am emotional.. Have been trying to deny this, but i guess it is a fact.. But.. I can smile and smile ma, but sometimes i just dun like.. Why must i act tough in front of ppl i feel close too..
Felt quite vunerable for the past weeks.. I trying to be strong, coz ppl say i too emotional.. I can talk to my 0602 classmates.. They are quite fun to be with.. But.. I dunno.. When i am with oeisters, i really laugh.. really lame... enjoy the time when we share about the tutors we like/admire... haha... really can share.. and you feel relax..
i got make new friends in 0602.. Some whom i can really share with and laugh with also.. and mao mao is very nice... although sometimes he do things tht are quite shocking.. but still think he is an old chidish man.. opps..
and i really miss my 0601 combination of tutors.. haha.. tht includes Mr tong although i din take GP.. ALL of them are nice and good leh.. not kidding you man.. haha.. now.. ok la.. i like my GP tutor for the 1st week of school-ms victoria.. she remembers you one lorh.. then haha.. so nice.. some of the tutors you can just be so comfy with and they are not only tutors but can be friends you talk to..
i think i really emotional hor.. emotions are beautiful things, but i shouldn't let the evil one take me to a place i dun want to.. make me feel so miserable.. hehe.. these are some things someone important told me before.. :) i still trying to learn.. but i really dun get it leh?? i only show my feelings more than other ppl ma.. then hor.. ok ok.. i emotional ok.. haiz... but this is something unique about me.. i feel a lot.. haha..
Today is good friday.. I really wanna tell my friends and family how much Jesus loves us.. I really pray for chances when i can share Christ's love with my friends.. Something so important to me.. Haha.. The reason why i stayed in Nanyang..
God.. Thank You so much.. FOr loving me, for Jesus, for my familes, for my friends, for a chance to meet them.. I pray Lord that You will use me to share about Your grace and salvation to my dearies.. In Jesus Name i pray, Amen!