Hehe...Today this chen ye wei chuan dao aka Pastor Ezekial came to preach for sat service... He is soooo shuai (to me)... and... probably becoz i wanna be a preacher also, so i was attracted to him... Then he dun have a wedding ring.. sooo... it is highly possible tht he is still single...
hehe... But... i was focus during sat service.. Focus on God :) And i was listening to the pastor preaching... and i learn a lot from him about God also... :)
then hor, i must admit i am very mesmerise by him.. hehe.. then was kind of happy when he smiled at me! but... i realise i was distracted... so i decided to keep myself calm... oh, but... still feeling a bit... hehe... guess i have a crush on him... but this kind of things will go on... coz i love man of God...
Well.. this sets me thinking.. and i was being reminded tht... "a godly man may not be the right man..."
Ok.. so wad i concluded today with Ke Li is tht... I will start praying for my husband today... i hope he will be a preacher also... a pastor... someone i meet in trinity college maybe... hehe... so exciting to meet him... waiting in anticipation... ya... so i will pray.. and when the day comes, i will tell him " I have been praying for you since 24 June 2006!" So exciting right.. I wonder how the man God prepared for me will be like...
What if ultimately God wants me to stay single? Well, i guess it will be alright too, coz i know He is my ultimate focus! though i would want a man to grow with me in the word of God and raise kids together! :)
yeah.. so today's entry is to commemorate this day! so i can keep track! hehe... and remind myself to pray... :)
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
Beach
Went to the beach today after choir prac... Hehe..
Who was there? My papa, mama, didi, Ah Ma, 5 Gu, 5 Gu Zhang, Ah Mei Jie, En En, 4 Gu, Sally Jie, xiao shu, xiao shen, si min, si ying, our three maids... 18 of us.. haha.. and this is only 4 out of 12 family, erm actually got 16 family... haha...
Opps.. tht wasn't the main reason why i type this blog.. i usually dun update on this kind of things.. haha.. okok.. i will start on wad i wanna share about..
My Ah Ma is 80 this year.. And i really love her so soo sooo much... wad happen today? She decided to go down to the beach and soak herself in water.. (swimming if u would call it??)... the waves was *large?*.. and after hesistating for dunno how long.. she decided to go down.. so she pass her bag to me and walk down.. dun be silly.. how would i allow her to go down herself? i walk with her.. it was quite exciting.. about 10+ years ago, our big family use to go to the beach together often, and we will play in the water together, with my Ah Ma.. she was 60+,70 then... i guess she just wanted to swim again.. now swimming pool cannot wear home clothes le so she haven't been able to soak herself in water (taking into considerations her body condition as well).. but i know she yearns to be in the water again, she shared with me before (not explicitly though).. many times when we bring her to the beach, she wouldn't wanna go down to the water.. think she scared (body conditions and old age i guess).. But this time.. she wanna go down.. so i held her hands..
As we walk down, i signalled to my dad who was in the water, asking him to come and help my ah ma (i couldn't help my ah ma any further, i was wearing jeans and a quite nice top with covered shoes and socks..) as my ah ma walk further down,i called my brother over so that he can walk down with her..(he wearing shorts..)... i stood down, and watch them walk further down, then i see my dad and my bro trying to hold my ah ma, getting her to sit down on the sand.. my my, the next moment the waves come and she fell back.. after a while she turned over (meaning her face was facing the ground).. the waves was too strong.. i panic and i just couldn't stand watching the way my dad and my bro held my ah ma.. although she was smiling (i think she was enjoying herself) but i still dun feel save watching her in my dad and bro arms.. i took off my shoes and socks, turn back to get someone to carry my ah ma's bag.. it was then tht i realised a lot of ppl was looking at my ah ma, apparently finding her admirable? amusing?? i dunno.. but my gu gu(s) was asking me to ask ah ma come up, very paiseh.. i pass the bag to one of them and rush down to the waters..i held my ah ma up, make sure she was alright.. then saw the smile on her face.. then suddenly, my xiao shu came down and held my ah ma up, asking her to come up quickly, "very paiseh leh"... then they pull her up with my daddy.. i was holding her hands.. after tht when going up, my xiao shu walk away quite angrily, then my gu gu came down to say tht it was very paiseh..
i stood there.. feeling a bit weird.. i wondered how my ah ma is feeling.. but i held her, told her it is alright.. she was still smiling, but it was a bit diff.. i got her clothes and stuffs, and walk with her to bathe.. barefooted, we walk, i ask her if she had fun, she said yes and smiled.. my jeans was heavy, but i was happy.. i walk in with her to the cubicle (ya, see her bathe.. haha..).. i told her she just had water baptism.. i told her i prayed just now, and she now belongs to Jesus! she laugh.. and she say, "aiya, just wanted to go down and wash away the past only".. Oh my.. haha.. i told her " ya lor, this is baptism lorh.." then i told her how happy i will be when one day she really calls God her saviour, and then i will fang(4) xin(1).. (all these convo is in teochew.. haha)..
i stood in the cubicle, was splashed by the water, seems to be showers of blessings on me.. i treasure every moment spent with my ah ma.. i know she is happy too.. and i know how much she loves this grand daughter of hers..
i guess we show love to my ah ma differently.. but sometimes we care more about how the world look at us more than we care about the person we want to show love to..
i really love my ah ma.. i am not sure if she recieved the salvation anot.. i will continue praying.. for her and for my family..
she is 80 yrs old.. how many more days, months, or years do i have with her? would she see me get married? would she get to carry my child? or would i go before her?
just wanna share this with you guys who happen to see this entry.. treasure the time you have to spent with your love ones.. only with God, we'll then be able to spent eternity with each other, in love.. I guess the reason why i tend to love so many ppl is becoz of God.. my character also maybe, but then again, i am created and mould by Him.. hehe.. He is my Father.. Oh!! Happy Father's Day again to my Heavenly Father!
hehe.. i went with my papa to eat dinner with my ah ma, didi, and maid at night.. actually a lot of things happen today.. maybe i will share more again the next entry... hehe :)
remember, show love while you can.. :)
Who was there? My papa, mama, didi, Ah Ma, 5 Gu, 5 Gu Zhang, Ah Mei Jie, En En, 4 Gu, Sally Jie, xiao shu, xiao shen, si min, si ying, our three maids... 18 of us.. haha.. and this is only 4 out of 12 family, erm actually got 16 family... haha...
Opps.. tht wasn't the main reason why i type this blog.. i usually dun update on this kind of things.. haha.. okok.. i will start on wad i wanna share about..
My Ah Ma is 80 this year.. And i really love her so soo sooo much... wad happen today? She decided to go down to the beach and soak herself in water.. (swimming if u would call it??)... the waves was *large?*.. and after hesistating for dunno how long.. she decided to go down.. so she pass her bag to me and walk down.. dun be silly.. how would i allow her to go down herself? i walk with her.. it was quite exciting.. about 10+ years ago, our big family use to go to the beach together often, and we will play in the water together, with my Ah Ma.. she was 60+,70 then... i guess she just wanted to swim again.. now swimming pool cannot wear home clothes le so she haven't been able to soak herself in water (taking into considerations her body condition as well).. but i know she yearns to be in the water again, she shared with me before (not explicitly though).. many times when we bring her to the beach, she wouldn't wanna go down to the water.. think she scared (body conditions and old age i guess).. But this time.. she wanna go down.. so i held her hands..
As we walk down, i signalled to my dad who was in the water, asking him to come and help my ah ma (i couldn't help my ah ma any further, i was wearing jeans and a quite nice top with covered shoes and socks..) as my ah ma walk further down,i called my brother over so that he can walk down with her..(he wearing shorts..)... i stood down, and watch them walk further down, then i see my dad and my bro trying to hold my ah ma, getting her to sit down on the sand.. my my, the next moment the waves come and she fell back.. after a while she turned over (meaning her face was facing the ground).. the waves was too strong.. i panic and i just couldn't stand watching the way my dad and my bro held my ah ma.. although she was smiling (i think she was enjoying herself) but i still dun feel save watching her in my dad and bro arms.. i took off my shoes and socks, turn back to get someone to carry my ah ma's bag.. it was then tht i realised a lot of ppl was looking at my ah ma, apparently finding her admirable? amusing?? i dunno.. but my gu gu(s) was asking me to ask ah ma come up, very paiseh.. i pass the bag to one of them and rush down to the waters..i held my ah ma up, make sure she was alright.. then saw the smile on her face.. then suddenly, my xiao shu came down and held my ah ma up, asking her to come up quickly, "very paiseh leh"... then they pull her up with my daddy.. i was holding her hands.. after tht when going up, my xiao shu walk away quite angrily, then my gu gu came down to say tht it was very paiseh..
i stood there.. feeling a bit weird.. i wondered how my ah ma is feeling.. but i held her, told her it is alright.. she was still smiling, but it was a bit diff.. i got her clothes and stuffs, and walk with her to bathe.. barefooted, we walk, i ask her if she had fun, she said yes and smiled.. my jeans was heavy, but i was happy.. i walk in with her to the cubicle (ya, see her bathe.. haha..).. i told her she just had water baptism.. i told her i prayed just now, and she now belongs to Jesus! she laugh.. and she say, "aiya, just wanted to go down and wash away the past only".. Oh my.. haha.. i told her " ya lor, this is baptism lorh.." then i told her how happy i will be when one day she really calls God her saviour, and then i will fang(4) xin(1).. (all these convo is in teochew.. haha)..
i stood in the cubicle, was splashed by the water, seems to be showers of blessings on me.. i treasure every moment spent with my ah ma.. i know she is happy too.. and i know how much she loves this grand daughter of hers..
i guess we show love to my ah ma differently.. but sometimes we care more about how the world look at us more than we care about the person we want to show love to..
i really love my ah ma.. i am not sure if she recieved the salvation anot.. i will continue praying.. for her and for my family..
she is 80 yrs old.. how many more days, months, or years do i have with her? would she see me get married? would she get to carry my child? or would i go before her?
just wanna share this with you guys who happen to see this entry.. treasure the time you have to spent with your love ones.. only with God, we'll then be able to spent eternity with each other, in love.. I guess the reason why i tend to love so many ppl is becoz of God.. my character also maybe, but then again, i am created and mould by Him.. hehe.. He is my Father.. Oh!! Happy Father's Day again to my Heavenly Father!
hehe.. i went with my papa to eat dinner with my ah ma, didi, and maid at night.. actually a lot of things happen today.. maybe i will share more again the next entry... hehe :)
remember, show love while you can.. :)
Monday, June 12, 2006
Seeking Comfort
Was feeling very upset yesterday.. Needed comfort.. Din wanted to talk to God about it..
Was on my way to the airport to meet ke li.. then was so upset, i on my discman (yes, i still using cd player), then was listening to this secular love song.. then next track is a christian song.. then i decided to find comfort (or numb myself to put it in a real way) in tht song, so i repeated tht song.. Then mainly becoz i dun want it to skip to the next christian song, totally din wanna listen to God at all..
Was seating on the train, (then you know the waiting time from tanah merah is so long one) then the more i listen, the more upset i become, then the more i think about why i am upset, images flow thru my head, ahh... but i still dun wanna talk to God, dun wanna let Him comfort me..
Ultimately, when i reach airport, i decided to change track.. I decided to listen to the christian song.. Then i kind of cried.. I realised how foolish i was.. i choose to let the world comfort me.. and i choose to believe tht i can go thru this alone.. In fact, i thought i could let go of the thing i wanna let go with my own will power, own wisdom and own strength.. and when i get hurt in the process, once again i choose to let others comfort me.. seeking love from man alone.. i thought "what can God do about it?".. i was so wrong..
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25
He spoke to me thru the song.. I went back to Him in prayers.. He comforted me..
I am still recovering.. In the process of setting my heart right again, in the process of getting healed.. I dunno how the thing will end up to be like, but i know God will hold me in His arms, and i will be secure in Him.
Just wanna encourage you guys who read this blog.. That no matter what happens, God is there to comfort us, to carry us through our problems.. Even if you dun believe in the name of Jesus now, one day if you feel that the world can't comfort you anymore, and you are willing to open your heart to let God comfort you, call on His name and He will hear you.. Seek comfort in Him for He cares for us..
He comforted me, and i know He will be there for you too :)
Was on my way to the airport to meet ke li.. then was so upset, i on my discman (yes, i still using cd player), then was listening to this secular love song.. then next track is a christian song.. then i decided to find comfort (or numb myself to put it in a real way) in tht song, so i repeated tht song.. Then mainly becoz i dun want it to skip to the next christian song, totally din wanna listen to God at all..
Was seating on the train, (then you know the waiting time from tanah merah is so long one) then the more i listen, the more upset i become, then the more i think about why i am upset, images flow thru my head, ahh... but i still dun wanna talk to God, dun wanna let Him comfort me..
Ultimately, when i reach airport, i decided to change track.. I decided to listen to the christian song.. Then i kind of cried.. I realised how foolish i was.. i choose to let the world comfort me.. and i choose to believe tht i can go thru this alone.. In fact, i thought i could let go of the thing i wanna let go with my own will power, own wisdom and own strength.. and when i get hurt in the process, once again i choose to let others comfort me.. seeking love from man alone.. i thought "what can God do about it?".. i was so wrong..
"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength." 1 Corinthians 1:25
He spoke to me thru the song.. I went back to Him in prayers.. He comforted me..
I am still recovering.. In the process of setting my heart right again, in the process of getting healed.. I dunno how the thing will end up to be like, but i know God will hold me in His arms, and i will be secure in Him.
Just wanna encourage you guys who read this blog.. That no matter what happens, God is there to comfort us, to carry us through our problems.. Even if you dun believe in the name of Jesus now, one day if you feel that the world can't comfort you anymore, and you are willing to open your heart to let God comfort you, call on His name and He will hear you.. Seek comfort in Him for He cares for us..
He comforted me, and i know He will be there for you too :)
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