Divine Exchange

By: Lara Martin
Verse:
My heart is captivated Lord by You alone
Captured by the awesomeness of You alone
Melted by the grace and mercy You have shown
I stand in wonder
I reach to You the One who makes the blind eyes see
Who breaks the chains of sickness with authority
Restoring what was broken
So it may fly again

Chorus:
I live to worship You
I breathe to worship You
All of my days Your face I will seek
For as I worship You
You lead me to that place
To that place of divine exchange


Reflections:
I wish to be brought to the place of divine exchange with God. Where I can meet Him face to face, and be comforted by His grace. Many are going through tough times. But God is with us through these tough times as long as we seek Him. "I live to worship You, breathe to worship You, all my days Your face I will seek"... I realised that it is really not a simple task at all.. Not a simple task in this lost and depraved world that we are in. Not easy at all because so many ppl around are seeking other things... And it is not easy overcoming these feelings of depression when you don't get the tangibles... I know that I should fix my eyes on Jesus. I will try... "All of my days, Your face I will seek." I will try... His love is so great... Yet my faith is so small... I know He wants me to carry my cross.. Even when ppl see me as a fool.. He wants me to carry my cross... And He wants me to understand that i live not for the world.. But i live for Him... Divine Exchange.. God is willing to exchange His Son for my life... What have i to offer in exchange? Nothing but a sinful self... Nothing but my own selfish desires... Do you not understand?

"And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple."
Luke 14:27

i survived!

wOOwoo.... i survived four back to back papers! tue 8-11 chi paper 1... tue 2-4.15 econs essay... wed 8-11 math... wed 2-5 hist sea... woo...

something that i realised about myself... about my attitude towards going for an exam.. i was just wondering what should i say if ppl asked me if i studied or not... i mean i guess when face with exams, ppl will usually study... is just whether the revision is completed or not... i guess one can never truly define what it means by finish studying.. "you can never finish studying..." haha... thts what a lot of ppl say... well i agree... especially for a rather insecure person like me... haha... talking about insecurity, i rmb how i was so upset with Mr Tong just the other day coz i felt insecure about my GP... but i realised today that it is alright to not study finish you see... the important thing that i wanna strive to achieve is to enter the exam hall knowing that my confidence is not in all that i studied but in the God whom i trust... and with that, i should feel safe and secure...

"You're not made for the As..." Mr Tong told me the other day... not becoz he thinks that i am not capable enough... all he wants to let me know is i do not belong to the world... i am not governed by the world's values... i belong to Jesus... and all He requires of me is to work hard and go into the exam hall trusting that He will be by my side as i do the exam... and I am not made for the As... If God wants me to be at the top, He will place me at the top... in fact, it doesn't even matter... What matters is whether i pass on the love He has given me...

Hehee... that was a small part of what i learnt from ah tong the other day... he was explaining to me an online game he was playing when i was taking a break from the studying... it is fun seeing someone like him getting all excited over computer games.. oh... and he allowed SOT to be my 2nd home! i dunno if it is normal... but he is such a nice brother that i wish i can intro him to all my friends... hee... just like how i wanted my school mates to know Ke li... but of coz that was not becoz she is nice... but becoz she is my uncommon friend...

and i realised that there are more ppl who reads my blog than what i actually knows... actually... i just want this blog to be a record of what i learn from Daddy.. mostly for myself.. and.. its quite upsetting when ppl around me come telling me about what i wrote in my blog, things that i din tell them personally... it is not like i dun share or something... aiya... dunno la... and i realise i get upset when ppl judge how well mr tong teach based upon how good our english are... i rmb telling mr tong before it is stressful being his student... i guess he understands... but he wants me to speak the truth, not worrying about managing interest but speaking the truth that aligns with the reality of the God who loves us... the fact is... my GP grades are not improving... the fact is... i seem to be doing worse than before... truth... it doesn't matter.... it is not about the grades... it is about my intellectual capacity growing... it is about showing more empathy and concern for people around me... it is about being able to learn from a brother like ah tong.... though it is irritating that you pay to build this relationship.. haha... but i know our siblinghood will go even beyond classes...

WOW... i know how to upload pics le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arent you guys just so impress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am impress!!!!!!!!! haha... and the first pic... me and my beloved brother yee... he is also known as uncle yee.. :)

Since i just learn this beautiful knowledge of uploading pics... haha... let me give a brief introduction of the few most significant relationship in my life now... 1st person is none other than uncle yee... his pic is already on top... 2nd... KE LI!!!
KE Li complained the other time that she lost to uncle yee... but she understands... haha...

next is dee and bing.. i realised i dun have pics with them...

you want to know the next few peeps???

Pris! We have become so close that we go and cut hair together!

Roy and Ser... My closer friends in NY....


These three peeps are my closest friend in NY... hee.. I enjoying saying grace with them... praying with them... and i just realised i forgot to pray with ROY before we go into exams hall... shall do it before econs next week and for the A's...


hee... i survived my college life partly becoz Daddy provided my with these three lovely sisters...

ok.. this is probably going to be one of the rare times that i am uploading pics on my blog... rmb how i use to say i dun like to update my life on this blog? but it is alright... it is quite cool being able to see ppl whom you love everytime you visit your own blog for some recap of lessons you learnt in life... And... Daddy is not part of this ranking... Becoz... He is my All in All... Forever and ever... Though sometimes i fail Him... I will try...


well... i probably din do very well this prelims... will study even more... for His glory...

Overwhelmed...

To tell you the truth... I was too focus on thanking God for ppl around me that i failed to realise that the God is the one whom i am suppose to thank most... He caught me offhanded and today i was overwhelmed by His grace, His love, His mercy... Just Him...

Last week... I especially thank Daddy for three teachers in my life...
1. Mr Tong Yee
2. Mr Pio Pereira
3. Mr Haniss

Don't ask me why all three are males... I just happen to have more male teachers... Haha...

All three of them... They exhibit God's love for me... And from each one of them, i learn so much more about Daddy... They impacted the live of this adorable individual (me) in ways that they may not even know... Mr Haniss is just cool... His famous quote "All Nanyang students are my students..." In him, i see a man who genuinely cares for his students... He said... "Have faith!" He is the second muslim (first one is Suhaimi) in my life who showed me what it really means to fear God. Mr Pereira... He makes me cry. But he taught me how to be tough. Not tough towards people but tough towards myself.. Learning to be strong emotionally... Learning to be independent...

Mr Tong... No... I cannot even begin to describe what this man has done... Truly, he is the best gift from God when i decided to enter NYJC.. Every time i learn something new from him or about him, i see God working in the life of this tall man... I shares about what i learn from him.. And i learn so soo much yesterday... Still overwhelmed till now... Will share again...
Wanna know a joke about him? I was having tea with him yesterday at bugis food court. After that we walked back to SOT together... And... I couldn't hear him speak clearly... Why? Because he is too tall!!!! 193 leh... The position of his mouth is so much higher than my ear! And the place is crowded so whenever he turns slightly away to talk, i can't hear anything!!!!!! Funny???? I think it is very funny... I haven't tell him though... coz we were talking about something serious then...

Was on the bus to school today... Yup... Then i was reflecting upon what i have been thinking about... "The only thing i deserve is to die", Mr Tong said yesterday... Ya... Thats so true... Yet we are given so much more... And i was overwhelmed by His love so greatly that nothing else around me matters anymore.. I din want to do anything.. I was just at peace, listening to Him, feeling His presence in the midst of the spinning world... Nothing else matters anymore... Simply because I have Daddy, that's enough... I am still learning... Learning this lesson of being satisfied with God...

Learnt so much these few dayssss.... Will type my thoughts in when i can afford the time... I am studying for my Prelims and A's now... And... Being quiet before Daddy doesn't just mean being in a quiet place...

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with that glory that will be revealed IN us." Romans 8:18