Why?

U know... there are times where i can just sit there and dunno wad to do... lie on my sofa and eventually just falling asleep...
sometimes i just feel so down and so weird... u know i think tht God placed brothers and sisters in Christ, our parents, just those ppl, yah... He placed them there for us to feel loved... As in, He can't be there physically to be with us... And He knows very well tht as humans, we have a human body... we need physical contact with somebody else... He wants us to love others because He first loved us... He want us to love others with His love... So basically u yourself shld be able to experience others love... But u see... it has been weird for me... I get frustrated easily by ppl around me... i mean they may care for me, or in fact they care for me... they say they love me... they say i may not know but yes they love me... i think it is my problem huh... i dun really feel loved... sometimes i need them... i need to talk... i am not the hehe haha sihui they know... i am the hehe haha sihui who is constantly hurting inside... yes... i do find comfort in God... but like other humans i need someone else physically to listen to me... and u know it is funny tht those whom supposedly i can share with seems distant sometimes... ppl dun like to share with me izzit? i feel tht i am close to u... yet u dun feel this way... u know the kind of feeling...
and recently it is quite stress... when my friends around me tell me about my brothers and sisters in Christ... asking me why they like tht, why they can cheat in test, why they can ill talk other ppl.... at least to my friends i dun cheat in test, and i am considered quite forgiving and uderstanding towards others who wronged me... at least to them i analyse each problem... but i do grumble... i am not perfect... they know tht... but sometimes i may seem nice... yah... i am trying to be nice... i am learning how to be good... but i can't answer for my other bro and sis... and i dun wan to listen bad things abt them and forget it... bcoz this is not God wants... i will be listening to gossips... then wad am i suppose to do... talk to them? i tried actually... but wad can i say? hey u are wrong... i prayed for them... and is this wad i can do only?
see... there are so many things i wanna share with my friends... my christians friends... but it is hard sometimes...
recently something wrong with my body... i cnnt feel concern frm my bro and sis in all saints... maybe i din really tell them... funny la... but i felt it was cool when ginny and gang wanted to pray for me when they know wad happened to me... they have been the ones constantly encouraging me... even wan lin gave me a hug tht day... i wonder if ginny told her wad happened... or maybe ask her pray for me... but i thank God for them...
and suddenly daniel pop into my head... DANIEL... u are my coolest friend... the only one who left messages for me in this blog... thanks... u know sometimes u r really cool... really miss u leh... hehe... maybe nxt time we shall go out together... for a movie, musical, concert, wadeva... hehe... OK!!! we keep it in mind hor... really thank God for u...
hehe... after all... God did not deprive me of my bro/sis... sometimes He take them away so tht i can grow... so tht i may feel love in my family... so scary... just now got thunder... maybe tht is God signal... telling me tht He will never leave me...
yesterday i went for the spook show... wasn't tht great... but the sermon was GOOD... MANY came forward to believe Christ... thank God for tht... then i came out with something... Just a joke... "Be still and know tht I am God" u know why? coz heaven will be filled with His children... So congested tht we cannot move, so have to stand still and worship Him... hehe...