Going back to the original

I wonder if anyone actually came to my blog when it became PINK... Hmm...

I've told some friends about how i am learning to explore technology and how i am just so excited when i learn how to change my blog template... No.. you are not seeing things... it is black again!

I kept the links.. coz actually i originally just wanted to add the Hedonese and agora link... They are really cool! And than as i explore... i realised i could change some stuffs... oh well... i guess due to my weird mood recently, i clicked on that weird pink background... but the more i think about it... the more i feel that it is soo not me... just not me... so.... after putting it up for about 2 days... i changed it back...

not that i love black... but becoz i really want to keep this blog simple.. not as if the previous skin was fanciful... in fact, it is not... haha... but i still think the colours are too distracting... and... i really like plain plain stuffs... not that i am a plain girl... maybe i am boring (the things that i do)... but i am not plain...

and... i am even thinking of removing pris's and ruo yi's blog links... why? hmm... i think i am still not use to the idea of linking here and there... and.. i was just thinking that if i am not going to remove it, does it mean that i am going to put ppl like tian tian and kelly they all blog links on my blog too (since i forget their blog address often...)... Oh well... i am still deciding... you will know the answer when you see either addition or subtraction to my blog links... but.. if i add links like agora, it is really simply becoz i wanna connect ppl who reads my blog (which i wonder how many) to other christian authors around or to other thinkers around... guess it allows me to broaden my worldview and i want my friends to broaden their worldview as well... haha... i am not trying to say that my friends' blogs are myopic... it is more about personal life right? that's why i am unsure... once again.. when i've decided you will see from the links...

Something to share besides my "going back to original"... Ah tong shared during the religion lecture that the world dominated by science will be a world govern by human mind... logic... oh well... and right now... as we are govern by physical laws.. no secular laws have existed that could control the meta-physical realm, our mind included... It is part of our private morality...

"Private morality is a matter of the heart. It lies in the unseen realm of our inner worlds of thoughts, emotions and values.
The hands of the law are to short to transform and empower the society to be a "pious, religious, disciplines, dignified, noble and trustworthy society." -An extract from the hedonese blog...

When it comes to secular law, maybe it din mean to transform the world to be religious in the first place... But the least it seeks to attain is to make our society trustworthy.. If this world is govern by human mind-logic, and nothing else... can we really become a trustworthy society? what value systems would influence the human mind? How do we even ensure the so called "logic" is logical in the first place... In the age of uncertainty, how can one be certain of an absolute law that can allow ALL mankind to trust?

I am tired... Hopefully i get to think deeper in this area.. Right now i am not going to dig deeper... REcently i learnt something about sin... Haven't really reflect on it yet (maybe i will when i go to the toilet later)... So i am not going to type my disorganised thoughts here...

Another thing i have been learning recently (may be days, months or may be a year) is about God using His people in the market place... Pastor Lawrence shared with me about the fact that there should be influential Christians entering the market place... And he was wondering if i would want to be an economist next time... And how i read about soo many talents going into full-time ministry... NOTHING is wrong with that... Just that how can those Christians in the marketplace influence others than... And how God has been teaching me about shining wherever you are...

I shared with Kanitta (KeLi) the other day that i think God has been treating me like Isaiah... Pastor Dai was sharing about how God din CALL Isaiah by name asking him to go here and go there... God appeared and has somewhere in mind He wants to reach out to, and asked "WHom shall I send, and who will go for us?" "Here am I, send me!" Isaiah replied... (Isaiah 6:8)
I guess when Isaiah had such a close encounter with God, all he wanted to do was to serve His Lord forever..

I always wonder where God "called" me to go... Like how Dianne and Kanitta have quite clear vision of where God wants them to go.. Just like how God called Jonah and all... But i don't really have.. I know i want to be a preacher... And i know that if one day God calls me for full-time ministry, i will go... But i really dunno...
And i think until this stage of me life... God hasn't called me like the way He called Jonah... I have no specific place to go... And God taught me that it is alright... He speaks to different people differently, and His plans are just soo cool that I won't understand.. And... Why i say He is treating me like Isaiah... It is not like as if other JCs have no need... Not like other place have no need... But right there and than, when i had an amazing accounter with my Lord and when He showed me this JC, i was like "ok i will go..." I MUST admit that i really don't have as much faith as i have at the later stage (after my 1st three months)... by than i was a bit like Jonah... But it was not reluctance... It was more of fear... But i continued on anyway...
And ya.. So i've learnt that i am going to be like Isaiah, telling God that I am ready... Whenever He shows me a place and He wants me to go, i will go...
I am praying... And I know all He desire of me now is to obey Him and love Him like a child... And i am struggling with sins... ANd like Paul, i know what i am suppose to do... But i still fall... And i am learning... Original sins... Original love... God's love was original, and He died for my original sins, and He wants me to go back to my original faith...
Hee... So exciting and confusing... And I really love my ah ma! she may need to go for an eye operation... haha.. i told her that she must go leh... coz like that she can help me see my husband-to-be next time with a clearer view... hahahahahaha.... silly me...